What Your Adopted Child Is Really Trying to Tell You

For twenty-eight years, Cheryl Parkhurst has worked inside school systems with neurodivergent teenagers, and she has watched the same quiet pattern repeat in adoptive families. A child settles in, the calm honeymoon period passes, and then behavior that nobody expected starts to surface. In this episode of Voices of Adoption, co-hosted by Nathan Gwilliam and Donna Pope, host Donna sits down with Cheryl to talk about what that behavior is actually saying and what adoptive parents can do about it. Behavior Is Communication Cheryl's central message is simple and freeing. When an adopted child acts out, they are not scheming or testing you. They are telling you that something underneath needs attention. She walks through the hidden needs that can show up after a placement, the value of gathering information instead of guessing, and the difference between reacting to a behavior and answering the need behind it. Curiosity Changes the Conversation Instead of new rules and firmer consequences, Cheryl offers a gentler starting point. Pick a calm moment, lower the pressure, and ask with real care, what is going on here. Donna shares a tender story about a seven-year old and his birth parent that shows exactly why patience works better than panic. You Do Not Have to Do This Alone Cheryl is firm that families do better when they build a team around the child: a family doctor, a school counselor, a special education contact, and a social worker who all share what they see. She also explains how parents can move from advocating for their child to advocating with their child, so a young person learns to understand and ask for what they need. Listen and subscribe to Voices of Adoption wherever you get your podcasts. Download Your FREE Guide to Adoption at VoicesofAdoption.org. #VoicesOfAdoption #CherylParkhurst #Adoption #AdoptiveFamilies #Adoptee #BirthParents #Neurodivergent #ADHD #Autism #FASD #IEP #BehaviorIsCommunication #AdoptionSupport #YouAreNotAlone Connect with Voices of Adoption Website: https://VoicesofAdoption.org YouTube: https://youtube.com/@voicesofadoptionshow Instagram: https://instagram.com/voicesof_adoption Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577208399818 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@voices_of_adoption X: https://x.com/voices_adoption LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/voices-of-adoption Connect with Nathan Gwilliam LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nathangwilliam Connect with Donna Pope LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/donna-pope-41652ba Connect with Cheryl Parkhurst Website: https://www.cherylpankhurst.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheryl-ann-pankhurst-1b611855/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cherylpankhurst