Korean Adoptee Therapist Says Gratitude Should Not Silence Grief

In this episode of Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope interviews Rachel Forbes, a Korean American adoptee and licensed clinical social worker who specializes in trauma-informed therapy. Adopted from South Korea at three months old by white Jewish parents, Rachel's journey through depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts ultimately led her to become a therapist dedicated to helping other adoptees heal.

Love and Loss Coexist

Rachel explains that an adopted child's grief has nothing to do with their adoptive parents' love, and adoptive parents cannot heal that grief for them. She emphasizes that gratitude should not silence grief, and adoptees can hold appreciation for their families while still honoring their loss. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Rachel helps adoptees acknowledge all parts of themselves without judgment.

Finding Your Community

Rachel encourages adoptees to seek adoption-competent therapists and connect with the growing adoptee community online. She reminds listeners that healing doesn't mean triggers disappear, but that we build capacity to bring more self-compassion to those moments each time they arise.

This episode offers guidance for every member of the adoption constellation seeking understanding and support.

Looking for support on your adoption journey? Visit VoicesofAdoption.org for support, resources, and community from every corner of the adoption constellation. Subscribe to the Voices of Adoption show for real stories and resources that help families across the adoption constellation find support and for expert insights on adoption wellness.

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